Standard athletic writers would use this portion of
their website to explain who this Susan Lacke is and how
her writing is far superior than any other humor writer
when it comes to the fitness world. It would be followed
by the standard statement of how she is a freelance
writer, humor columnist for Competitor Magazine, and
Resident Triathlete for No Meat Athlete. It would not
mention that she’s a slow runner, overly obsessed with
junk food, and has been called “a batshit crazy pain in
the ass” on more than one occasion.

Lacke would prefer to define herself as “an upstanding,
productive member of society.” Anyone who disputes
that probably hates baby seals, puppies, and America.

After earning Masters and Doctoral degrees in Health
and Wellness, Susan did the most responsible thing a
graduate with a giant mound of student debt could do:
She became a writer.

While building up an audience as No Meat Athlete’s
Resident Triathlete, Susan branched out into other areas
of the digital world, including guest-posts on multiple
blogs and an interview on The Badass Project about her
disability (Yeah, she’s deaf – what about it?).

Today, Susan has a monthly column, “Out There,” in
Competitor Magazine, a weekly blog on,
and is currently writing her first book with VeloPress

Publishing. She continues to write for No Meat Athlete
and never turns down a good freelance or guest-
blog opportunity. For links to all of Susan’s work, further
investigate here.

When she isn’t writing, Susan can be found running
(at an incredibly slow speed), doing triathlons (at an even
slower speed), drinking copious amounts of coffee and
wine, and plotting to get her next cupcake fix. She lives in
Phoenix, Arizona, with her partner, Neil, and two dogs,
Doc and Moxie.

Yes, Susan is a batshit crazy pain in the ass –
but the good kind.